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Why Don’t I Have Faith?

Apr 19th, 2018 | Josh Krampitz

“I’ve heard a Thousand Stories of what they think you are like, but I’ve heard the tender whispers of love in the dead of night.”

In my opinion, the greatest push back that I have ever heard to Christianity is when somebody asks, “Is this lifestyle worth a God that we cannot physically see? And promises that we cannot prove?” If only Jesus still lived here and we could physically see Him; if we could touch him, our decision to follow Him would be significantly easier.

For me, the greatest barrier in my life between me and ‘childlike’ faith has been my mind. I am way too logical. I struggled for years to believe and when I finally did, it was only because I thought that I felt Him, but all too soon that experience was devoured by logic as well. My testimony was shoved onto the backburner and if I really wanted to believe, I thought that I had to disregard what I had learned in school for what I was taught in church. At least… that’s what I was taught in church.

Am I Naive if I Trust Faith over Logic?

 

Let me give you just a brief glimpse of my mind:

When songs like “Good Good Father” by Chris Tomlin play over the radio or during a worship service, my first impression is to become utterly annoyed. For so long the “thousand stories of what they think you are like” were the cornerstone of my belief. I find contentment in knowing the history of the ancient literary Bible and the careful archeological discernment process taken to affirm the validity of the Scriptures; and I am even content with the stories in the Bible, believing that someone thought a man could walk on water or someone could claim to call fire down from Heaven. I am okay with believing someone who claims to have experienced a dead man come back to life… or at least I thought I was.

As it turns out, the more you think about these things, the less they make sense. And the more that you ask religious leaders about them, the more they talk about mustard seeds. It does not seem to help. But should it?

I am at a point in my life where I constantly feel like I have to choose between faith and logic. Every day is another choice. It does not seem faithful to think logically in most situations. But it doesn’t seem logical to think faithfully in those situations either. Someone once told me that it would get easier; that once you have chosen faith enough, it will become second nature. I guess I am not there yet. It feels like everyone outside of Christianity views having faith as the equivalent to walking across the stage at a college graduation and, as the president hands me my diploma, he leans over and whispers in my ear, “how would you like to go back to high school?” From this lens, faith feels like a step down from the logical world and too often, it can become too easy to look beyond this mentality because… it is logical!

When I finally get the chance to separate myself from the world, when I have shut myself in with God (usually when things are really good or really bad), I begin to see His glory, His hand in the world, but when complacency strikes (and it strikes hard), I begin to forget what He is doing from the perspective of a son of God and I get lazy. I begin to question things that God is saying and ignore Him because I don’t feel like I need Him at the time. When will it click in my mind that I can be fully His, even when times get tough and even when life seems bland? Do you want to be fully His?

I only hope that one day it clicks for you as I hope it truly clicks for me. I really hope that we, together, can begin to see the world as more than what we can understand, more than we can see, and we can fully comprehend the uncomprehendable as the most wonderful mystery, the best kept secret that has ever existed. My prayer today for you and for me is that when God’s Spirit makes Himself evident, we would respond with no holds barred, replacing faith with logic on that backburner, even when we don’t feel like we need Him, because those could be the most pinnacle moments in our lives. I don’t know about you, but I want to live in a world that I don’t always feel the need to understand; I don’t want to know everything and I don’t want to let my logical mind rule me anymore. But let me be clear, ‘logic’ does not always mean knowledge; ‘logic’ is, for all intents and purposes in this post, synonymous to rationalization. I have seen God’s glory too many times to want to rationalize it anymore and become complacent. Will you join me in recognizing the glory of God as a wonderful mystery, an undeserved act of love, instead of a curious coincidence? Place your responses below.

 

Blessings,

 

Josh

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