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If God is Real, Then Why Do I Feel Alone?

Dec 7th, 2017 | Josh Krampitz

Why Does God Take Away?

More solemn than ever, I write these words as I peer through heavy eyes at this luminescent computer screen. Why God, why would you ever do this to my family, your “church?” OR why her, the child who has done nothing to deserve the punishment that she has had to endure? “If only you could see,” He says through a cracked smile as He wipes the tears from His cheeks.

God cares so much about us that not only will He allow things to happen (see “We Blame God”), through which we may find ourselves lacking the things that we thought that we needed, but He also would never allow us to go through this alone.

My youngest sister has been sick for a year now, filtering through diagnosticians like she is sifting for gold but she has yet to find the answer as to what is wrong with her. Her symptoms: the inability to use the restroom without an enema as well as days of violent vomiting and a chronic migraine. She is thirteen. In the past year, her quality of life has decreased periodically whereas now she is sitting in a hospital room in Columbus, Ohio right now with a tube up her nose, recovering from a colonoscopy and being instructed not to leave the bed for any reason whatsoever. Test after test, many highly regarded doctors have failed to draw a solution, let alone a diagnosis, as to what is wrong with this helpless teenage girl. Her hope is fading if not already faded, and she is beginning to feel like she is stuck in a vacuum wherein she will dwell for the rest of her miserable life; you can see it in her face. Her smile is different; she walks different; her voice sounds almost lifeless. Go ahead, Church, what do you have to say to her?

Go ahead and tell her “everything is going to be okay.” Say that to her face; tell her that God is going to see her through this and that He is coming to the rescue. Tell her that His timing is perfect or that He wants to heal her through her faith. Go ahead, say that to her. Say it to my mom and see what happens. They have heard it all before. Don’t you think they have believed in God at any given point in this last year to heal her and then He didn’t? Don’t you think my sister, who rarely sleeps now, has cried out in the middle of the night weeping, “GOD, HELP ME!”? They have heard “everything happens for a reason” or “it is all in God’s timing” about three too many times to still believe that God is going to turn this around through faith. It would appear as though to my family, my sister, that they are stuck in a vacuum.

However, it had occurred to me last night as I was talking to my sister that maybe, just maybe, the God that she has heard so much about was not as far away as she might have thought, because as she was describing everything that she had gone through at the hospital that day, the colonoscopies, the excruciating amount of laxatives, an ng tube, the uncertainty of the doctors, and so much more, you could tell that this girl was tired, yet unmoved by all of this. The amount of awareness and courage that she has at this point in this process is nothing short of miraculous. It was almost as though God, through all of this, had given her a sort of angelic bravery, a place of peace.

So no, I do not believe that God takes away from us things that we need. I believe that at times, He replaces what we previously thought was irreplaceable with two things: a situation and a quality of ourselves that we never thought existed so that we might, through these situations, chose whether or not we accept and pursue the strengthening of this quality in the Name of Jesus or run from the situation in fear and sorrow.

My sister’s bravery may be nothing short of a miracle, but she is in the midst of a sort of hell as she knows it. Bravery alone will not carry her through. But it is through that bravery that she might find refuge in the Father in this situation if she so chooses.

So too, do you, when pitted in situations like these, have a choice. Do you run to the Lord or from Him? The trial and change of life is the constant; your choice will always be the variable, but let me promise you something: you have never been, and will never be alone.

 

– Josh Krampitz

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